Do We Expect Too Much?

It seems as though, most of our grief in life stems directly from our expectations. It’s impossible to be disappointed unless your expectations fail to be met.

Too often we expect people to react to situations the same way we would. I think this becomes the greatest fault line in most relationships. We expect our partner to love the way we do. Understand the way we do and forgive the way we do. Women being more emotionally centered than men tend to experience things this way oppose to men who experience things logically.

As a creature that experiences most of its life emotionally often times women unknowingly expect all interactions follow suit. We go above and beyond because we like/love our men and more times than not, this happens too early in the relationship. We take their lives on as part of our lives.  We triple think our actions weighing them against how they may make our men feel. Always mindful of the conversation flow. Always factoring them and their feelings in. The problem with this behavior is most women expect these actions to be reciprocated by the men in their lives.

We expect that because we may think that talking everyday shows interest the men in our lives agree.

We think that because we give ourselves completely that our partners will instinctively give themselves to us.

We surmise that our emotional timeline matches with that of our love interest.

Problem is….. More often than not. This is not the case.

Where most women see color… Men see black & white.

Example: No communication between a Man and Woman a few days.

Woman: He’s clearly not that interested. Or he’s acting funny. I have to initiate everything. He has too many women he’s dealing with. Pow Wow meeting with the girls to discuss.

Man: Been a long week. Didn’t feel like talking. Still want you and I plan to see you soon.

Now the woman sitting for a week all emotionally disturbed and irritated with a man who has no idea. The man is about to be blindsided when he reaches out to the woman and she has an attitude… all because the expectations weren’t set at the right level.

I think the root of the communication problems between men and women weigh heavier on the side of non-verbal communication than the actual words we share. In our minds we are all already speaking separate languages. Our assumptions and expectations in a language only we understand. It’s like traveling abroad and expecting everyone to speak your native tongue.

So we have to ask ourselves…. Do we expect too much?

Ramblings on the Power of Love

Do I believe in the power of Love? I find that I’m asking myself this often. I usually like to consider myself a hopeless Romantic. I believed that love could and would withstand anything. I felt that as long as you had love, nothing else mattered. I can remember saying “I’d live in a cardboard box with …..” As long as we have each other… we’re good. And for a while I truly felt that way. Now I realize how fucking stupid and unrealistic that sounds. Is it truly possible to love one person for the rest of your life? Do I have enough love left for that? When you go through a relationship that you really believe is going to last forever, and it ends. Something about that fucks you up mentally. The physical pain of having ones heartbroken is enough to send any sane person over the edge. There’s this moment when you can actually feel your heart cracking and your entire person is broken in half. NOBODDY wants to feel that shit twice. It changes the way you view relationships, love, sex… everything. In a way you’re forever tainted. Like the heart never fully heals and is no longer capable of giving or receiving the amount of love it once facilitated. I have to ask myself, do I want to love that hard again? Do I want to be open like that with another person?

Yeah…. I do. Having someone that close to you is one of the greatest connections two people can share. The mutual vulnerability builds trust. And a bond that neither of your share with any other person on Earth. The problem is, it’s very rare that you find that person that you vibe with that deeply. That person you can spend all day with doing nothing. And every day still be excited to see. We develop so many superficial relationships. Only letting people see what we want them to see. That we rarely allow people to get close enough to of us to meet the real us. It takes a lot to get to a level with a person where you allow them to truly see all that you are. The quirky things you don’t let anybody else see. The fears nobody else knows about. All those secret fantasies you’ve been too scared to share. Allowing someone else into that space leaves us wide open for attack. But I think that’s what adds to the thrill of it all.

But hey what do I know?  I’m just a girl recovering from her own heartbreak with a cracked Moral Compass…

Oh so Do I believe in the power of love? I’ll let you know when I decide. 

What These Bitches Want From a Nigga? (What @itsmscoco2u says)

Well I guess that depends on who you ask. As for me it depends on which day you ask me. I will admit to being one of those Women who really doesn’t know what she wants. I like to attribute my indecisiveness to being a Gemini. Helps me feel better about it. Part of me wants a Rich man with a Big Penis and a Monster tongue to travel around the world with Eating, Drinking, watching strippers and having sweaty sex in wild places. I want him to blow my mind, body and soul. I want to fuck on the beach, dine at the RITZ and bathe in Champagne. I want someone who can take me places even my imagination hasn’t dreamed up yet. Someone who brings all the naughty out of me. Rock my world….  Then take his ass right back home until I summon his presence again.

Another part of me wants a strong, loving, dependable Southern Man to come home to everyday. I want a man who makes me feel secure in giving all my love only to him. A man who takes out the garbage and mows the lawn on the little piece of property we saved up to buy. A man who’s idea of a night out consist of Drinking with his friends and playing poker. A man who forgets occasionally that he still has to date me, but never forgets my birthday or our anniversary. A man who loves his Mama and fears God. I want a Man who calls me on my bullshit and caresses away my pain. I want to come home to a man who knows how to fix the kitchen sink and is willing to clean out the gutters. A man who I can put a 3 piece suit on and the outside world would never guess his past. A man willing to love me despite mine…

So… to answer the Trillion Dollar question: What these Bitches want from a Nigga?

EVERYTHING!

brought to you by @itsmscoco2u 

What These Bitches Want From A Nigga? (what @RODRIGUEZ_TGC says)

The Trillion Dollar Question: 

"What these bitches want from a nigga?"

Answer: 

1. Money 2.Swag  3.Good Sex

End of article. 

It's that simple if your just strictly looking for a good time, but once you step into the relationship arena, oh boy things get a lot more complicated....things like love, understanding, commitment, caring all start coming into place, but don't think you can leave those other three points alone 1. Money 2. Swag 3. and good sex must remain. So how do you balance all of these without letting your ego get out of control, or on other side not go crazy? IDK ask Obama.  

My theory for guys is do not get into a relationship unless your money is right, cuz she can LOVE you, but if your money aint right, just LOVE is not going to make her stick around, it has to be a combination of both plus you have to be interesting aka swag. There are a lot more factors that are involved but I would need a book to write about those in depth.  If I'm wrong ladies please correct me.

BROUGHT TO YOU BUY @RODRIGUEZ_TGC

Life As A Mistress (Right or Wrong)

Life as a Mistress (Right or Wrong) – A post written from the point of view of “the other woman” infidelity is always a relevant topic but we never really hear from the person who is being cheated with. How it started, why it started, why she continues. Perks , benefits pros and cons…. So on  and so on


I’m not sure what part of my stroll screams “HI I’m MORALLY CORRUPT” but apparently men all over the world feel as though they can share their infidelities with me.

HOW IT STARTED: I met a guy through a mutual business associate. We started out with a strictly business relationship but with time it evolved. We’d share our sexual exploits with one another and begin to plan a time when we would rendezvous together. I already knew he had other Women in his life, but I figured it was nothing serious for this Play Boy. 


I must admit I was attracted to his status and financial capabilities. It was nearly a year before we were even in the same city together. Once we were on… there was no turning us off. There were flights to different cities, various hotel rooms, clubs, dinners, drinks all ending in hot sweaty enjoyable sex. He took me places physically and sexually that I had only dreamed of.  For a Single Woman in her 20’s this was the life. 


I began to hear through the grapevine that he was engaged and eventually I heard he was expecting a child, BOTH of which he vehemently denied. So I continued our little affair, pretending to believe a lie. Eventually he admitted the Woman was indeed carrying his child and they shared a home together but assured me he had no plans on marrying her. He would tell me how much he always missed me when he was away from me and how I blew his mind sexually. And all of this turned me on! I loved the taboo in it all! It made life exciting. And best of all, left my heart fully protected. I had NO INTENTIONS on loving this man. I knew my roll and I was comfortable in it… I had become “the Mistress.” I was the Woman on his mind when he woke up and when he went to bed at night. I would send him sexy pictures knowing full well he was probably sitting at the table with his family… he liked it and I loved it. I was the thing that kept him sane.
 The ONE WOMAN in his life guaranteed to not increase his stress levels. That is a powerful position to hold in a man’s life. Not only am I the Pussy he wants but I’m the pussy that comes with no strings. We have developed the BEST MUTUALLY GRATIFYING relationship a Man and Woman can hope to have. I give him mind (and body) blowing sex. I make him feel young and sought after all over again. He provides a situation that allows me to travel, live comfortably all while building my career. Not to mention orgasm! Do I feel bad about it? Hell No. As far as I’m concerned I’m doing a public service. I keep him happy, sane and at home (when he’s not with me). His Wifey should send me a Christmas Card.  

When Did Dating Become So Complex?

I was having a chat with one of my best friends in the whole world today. We haven’t spoken in a few months; both of us have been so busy. My career is taking off and work keeps me busy all the time. She recently had her first child so she is acclimating herself to mother hood. After all of the catch up, we inevitably end up at the most discussed topic amongst women…. Our love lives.

We both came to the conclusion that the Dating Game is in a complete state of disaster right now; At least for people in our age group (25-35). Our first question was… Where the hell do I find someone to date? The club… clearly that’s not the best idea. Then you run into the problem of that being the place your significant other wants to be every weekend. Your job? That’s just a recipe for disaster (which deserves its own post)

So let’s say by some miracle of nature you find someone that you like and you guys begin the process. Now you run into the issue of, how often should we talk? If I call or text your everyday, does that make me thirsty? Do I want to hear from you every day? How much interest is too much? What do you want from me? Are you looking for a good fuck? Are you looking for a Wife? Somebody to help you take care of your bad ass kids? Or someone to talk to? I can’t figure out for the life of me why it is so difficult for people to just tell you want they want from the beginning. Why can’t I just say “I like you,” and that be enough? Why can’t we just be two people who enjoy each other’s company and grow from there? When did dating become so complex? Ask yourself when is the last time you’ve been on a date? A REAL DATE! The kind where the man picks you up or fellas you go pick the lady up. You go to dinner, enjoy a good meal and great conversation. Maybe a few drinks afterwards, trying to drag out your time because you don’t want the night to end. Then you have that goodnight kiss and GO HOME. None of that trying to get in bed on the first night, developing a mutual respect for one another. Falling in like with personality not just in lust with looks. Finding yourself excited to talk to them the next day and eager to see them again. Talking on the phone till the wee hours of the morning all the while knowing you have to wake up early , but you don’t care. Finding yourself smiling for no reason just at the thought of them. When is the last time you developed that type of connection with another person?

Why are we so obsessed with the superficial? Men just want to have sex with as many beautiful women with big asses as they can possibly stick their penis in. And women just want to find the richest most famous man around just to fuck him in hopes he’ll pay your phone bill and buy your little bebe kid some Jordan’s. How did we stray so far? What happened that we have removed our feelings and passion from life? When did we become so afraid of being hurt that we stopped trying? How have we learned so well to ignore the innate yearning we have to connect with another human being? Since when did pretending you are to cool to need someone else become… well… cool? When did Men stop chasing and when did Women stop being the hope full romantics we were created to be?

                                                                                                          

Flavor #1 - The Dater

I have this theory that most Single Gals need more than one man in their life. Think about it… how is it humanly possible for just one person to give you everything you need? Most men aren’t willing and out of those who are… their means, availability, intelligence or overall sex appeal prevent them from doing so. For the Single Gal, life is like a Baskin Robbins… 31 Flavors and you’re bound to find a few you like…

The DATER:

All Women should have one of these. This is the guy who makes weekend plans with you at the beginning of the week… not the day of. You go to dinner, the movies, live shows, etc… Now he’s usually not your typical “stud muffin”, but he’s not so dreadful that you can’t be seen in public with him. Most of your girls know about him…   but NO ONE in your family does. You enjoy his company, he makes your laugh and even makes your feel special. Problem is… he doesn’t make your panties wet.

Extra Curricular Activites Pt. 3 - The Mistress

And finally we come to the most important … “the Mistress”

This woman can come from anywhere at any time. She does not have a man of her own. In some cases she will want your man for herself, in any smart case… she knows better. This is “the other Woman” in your Man’s life. He is involved in the daily workings of her life and she in his. He pays her bills, takes her out and may even know her family.

            We’ve all seen it in the movies. The bombshell that big CEO Man is cheating on his wife with. He pays for her to have a condo near his office. Unlike you, she keeps her hair and nails done at all times. Her pu-na-ny stays waxed and ready for his visit.  He takes her out for nights on the town. He lies to his family to spend time with her. YES she really does exist. She’s your sister, Hair Dresser, Favorite Cashier at Nordstrom’s. The mistress’ of the world are living, breathing and operating right under your nose. Your Man’s Mistress may even be the girl you see every weekend working concession at your kids Basketball games. She is not made to stand out, she blends in well. That it is her job. She is the Woman that your Man thinks he loves on the days he’s mad at you. In some cases he may even actually love her. They spend QUALITY time together. Talking, eating and making love. He tells her about all the things you do that drive him crazy. In the middle of the night when you are up with a crying baby, he’s laying next to her telling her how he wishes they could run away together. He feeds her with the hope that one day he will leave you. He feeds you with the hope that there is no other “her” out there for him.

This mistress caters to your man. She cooks for him whenever he asks. She does his laundry and sucks his dick without him even having to think about it.  She’s quiet when his phone rings and she never asks whose on the other line. She knows her role and she plays it well. She knows that her one leg up over you is that her sole purpose is to minimize the stress in his life. He goes days without being able to see her and to make up for it she receives lavish gifts on the regular. She has no children, that makes her free and your Man loves that. She reminds him of what life was like before it got real. The mistress knows where you work and the names of all of your children… even the damn family gerbil. Not even because she’s so nosy but because your Man tells her all ya’ll damn business.  He trusts her and opens up to her probably more than he should. He lives with the fear of knowing that she could destroy him at any moment… but he trusts her not to. There is something so crucial that she provides it makes him willing to put his entire life on the line.

A smart Mistress will always want to keep this setup. You (the significant other) at home semi-happy. Your man stuck satisfied between both lives. And her pulling the strings. If the Mistress decides she wants your Man… it could mean you’re in for the fight of your life. If she’s smart… she’ll want you to keep him while she reaps the benefits.

Send the Mistress a Christmas Card because she the reason daddy didn’t leave you this year.