less

I’ve found myself held in your captivity

And without your knowledge none-the-less

I am but a willowing flower awaiting the rays of your sun

Your rise… you set. All without awareness of my dependence

Like a child longing for your attention

I wait… I perform… I act out.

Yet your focus eludes me

HER I AM! I am the one you’re looking for

But you say you’re not looking I’m the only one on a hunt

And in you my treasure will not be found

Confounded by an uncertain truth

I am deceived by my own judgment

Have I misinterpreted interaction

Read more than what was written on the page

Has my active imagination finally confused me

Are these memories made of clouds

Have I lost my mind completely

Or are you confused some how

In the darkness we dance

Sometimes I sit in the darkness in an attempt to embrace the pain

Lose myself in the nothingness, its Peace I hope to gain

Don’t let me be master of my own fate. I’m unprepared

All this time an elaborate illusion. A girl playing dress up

And the nominee goes to …. ME

BEST ACTRESS in my own cinematography

Dramatic Comedies of my Dramatic Days

Empty Bottles and Broken Dreams

Or are the bottles broken and the Dreams empty?

It’s so hard to tell

Superficial Artificial Non Fictional Representations of me

But just a piece

I can’t fathom my entirety

In the darkness I fumble my way around

In it reaching for my peace

Solitude of the Unknown

Second third fourth and fifth chance

With the Sun rise we pretend yesterday is merely a dream

Till the Music stop playing

In the darkness we dance

Doesn’t anybody tell a story anymore?

Feel the need to express my soul

I need to write

Finding myself again

I need to write

Elevating my Mind

I need to write

Been wrong going right for so long

I need to write

Out of tune singing my song

I need to write

Tire of screaming in silence

I need to write

Finding what I left

I need to write

Searching for myself

I need to write

I have speakers block

I need to write

The silence must stop

I NEED TO WRITE

Making Love Art (with audio)

I want to be a Def Poet, so that no one can hear

listen to the feelings my words evoke through your ears.

I want to be a Blind Poet, so that no one can see

Vision my story and take the Journey with me.

I don't want to write with a Pen...I'd rather paint with my mouth

Hills of Love and Valley's of Passion

Oceans of Pain... through many days of rain

Searching for my roots, leads me to...

 find knowledge to gain

See My experience leaves me inept to continue this story alone

I'm searching for the one I can call my own.

Come Paint with me Baby, we have a story to tell.

Mix my Blues with you Greens

Purple passions in between.

I wanna learn your stroke... you make such a beautiful scene.

Let's create our own colors; Break every rule

Color outside my lines baby, I'm asking you to!

Use ME as the canvas, I want to be your Muse

We can create our own Music, to make love to

RANSOM

I’m trapped in the shadows of my own neglect

Imprisoned by design, the rebellion of my mind

My heart beats… so… s l o w l y at times I’m afraid that it’s gone.

Lost in a place I’ve driven myself to.

Nothing seems the familiar yet everything’s the same.

WHERE THE FUCK AM I? And who gave me this name?

This face, these hands they all seem the same.

But something is not right…. No something has changed.

This is not the person I remember me to be.

It’s like I woke up and found that I had abandoned me.

So now I’m alone without even myself.

Like a thief came in the night, I wasn’t even there to protect myself.

Left a Ransom note in a language I can’t read.

Now I don’t even know what it takes to set myself free.

And it’s like its right there, so fucking close.

I can hear the music but I can’t make out the notes.   

You… hey you there do you read this language, can you set me free?

Or wait you.. You look like a hero; will you help me rescue me?

No somebody just find me a teacher; teach me this language you speak.

So I can learn the words to set myself free.

The Live Show

…… The lights are still on. I pass the exotic cigar to my left. She nervously accepts. As she inhales I can see her asking herself silently “what did I just get myself into?” She holds her breath almost as an attempt to stop time itself… maybe to build up her confidence. She then invites him into our session and he inhales with all of his might… in his eyes there is more. He looks nervous but the excitement shines through. His eyes tell all the erotic thoughts running through his mind…

There they sit on my bed … me in a chair less than 2 feet away. I have butterflies in my stomach; my palms are a bit sweaty. I’m slightly nervous… but not for the same reasons as them. I can’t help but smile as I think to myself “You really pulled it off!” I whisper to myself “I’m a Boss”. See these two have agreed to allow me to watch them engage in the carnal ravaging of each other. Yes, I am going to sit here in my chair and watch them have sex. (ooooooooooooh I’m a Freak…. Welp it is what it is) I figure porn is great right? So LIVE Porn as got to be better.

I step out for a moment; Allowing them some time to get comfortable. And I head to the kitchen to pour up some liquid courage for us all. When I return their body language lets me know that they have come to peace with the decision they’ve made.  I turn off the lights, sit down, take a sip of my drink and inhale my Herbal Tonic as I prepare for the show of a lifetime.

He lays her down and begins kissing down her body until he reaches her sweet spot. There he sets up camp. Ravaging her like a starving child. At first I can tell she’s afraid to moan or make any noise for that matter…. That soon changes. The subtle moans begin to escape her lips without her permission. Her body refuses to deny that it is in extreme pleasure. He almost spends so much time down there that I lose interest. Just before my attention span collapses he wraps up and plunges his manhood into her cavern. She yelps like a wounded animal. He begins giving her every inch of him all while staring at me. The sight of him emulating on her body what he wishes he could be doing to me nearly causes me to orgasm without a touch. I chuckle to myself. He’s been trying nearly a year to lay his pipe in my factory… but I have zero interest. He KNOWS this is the closest he will get … and he accepts this. He flips her over without warning and enters her from behind. I can hear his body slapping violently into hers. Her small frame is strained by the massiveness of him. He rides her from behind until he collapses in defeat… he is tired yet he does not climax. He asks for a drink and I oblige. The closer I get to the bed I can begin to smell the sex circling around them. She’s sprawled out panting as if she thinks each breath will be her last. He passes her the courage and as she catches her breath… I declare…. I think you should eat me out….

“Who” they ask in Unison? My reply is simple “You can take turns.”  He wants to be first. He lays down on the bed and motions me to mount his face. I do as instructed. I begin slowly riding his face like a calm wave. She arrives behind me and takes his manhood into her mouth, determined not to be left out.  His body spasms from the pleasure and his tongue goes into overdrive. Now I’m bucking as if riding a wild bull. I can hear his moans muffled between my legs. I realize he may be suffocating so I digress.  He rolls me over, gets up and enters her from behind… “Your turn” he commands. He stands by the bed, her on her knees on the bed… face in my sweet spot. He licks his lips as he watches her indulge in my candy. Connecting with her yet never taking his eyes off of me. I can tell she’s done this before, her technique impeccable. It is not long before a small orgasm erupts from my loins. That is enough for me. I politely get up and return to my chair… “Ya’ll can finish”

And Then There Were Three...

Forbidden fruit is always the sweetest….

The music is bumping. The air is so thick I can feel it caress my skin as I make my way through the crowded dance floor. Face after face twisted in its own form of wicked pleasure… All these people indulging themselves in their desires. Grinding their sexual frustrations out on whoever is willing to reciprocate. Clouding our judgments with the sweet intoxication of our varied flavors of liquid courage. When the lights go out and the speakers come on each patron gives their silent signature an inaudible acknowledgment that for the next few hours… in this place… your wildest dreams can come true… nearly anything is possible.

The phone rings. He requests my presence. He does not belong to me, but I am his. I submit to calling without hesitation. No questions needed aside from the address of our Rendezvous. I arrive at a hidden night club on such a quiet street to be in the Big City. The night is cool, slightly uncomfortable without a Jacket… but bearable. For once in my life, I’m early. So I make my way to the bar and start the night off with a shot of my old friend Senor Patron. As the tequila begins to warm my blood I look up and see him enter. Always such a presence when he walks into a room, everyone notices. But wait… who is this woman with him. If I were anyone else … looking at her frame I would have assumed she was me. She’s wearing sunglasses so I can’t make out her face. I make my way closer, she removes her glasses and her face becomes one that I am more than familiar with. He also does not belong to her… but she, much like me … is his.

We drink… we dance…. We drink…. We laugh…. We drink…

My Mr. Jones...

He pulls my face to his and kisses me… if I didn’t know better I would have thought he missed me. Then he turns to his left… and kisses her. For just a moment the world goes silent. “What the hell just happened?” Is all I can think. Did we talk about this? Did I somehow forget THIS portion of the directions? So I am faced with a simple decision… Am I down? I think to myself… What the hell … Carpe Diem”

We spend the rest of the night in varied 3person dance maneuvers… Tasting Ciroc off each others lips. We have officially occupied the Very Important People’s section of this club. Women are forgetting what their Mother’s taught them and shaking what they gave them for the ones we incautiously throw. Us Musketeers have found a corner and made our way to a Verbal game of twister, enjoying the combinations of sweet the 3 of us make.

The next thing I remember is being told to make my way to the car. Driver pulls the Benz up we hop in the back. Sleep takes over… I awake to find myself walking through the lobby of a hotel. Room doors are opened. Showers commence. I am the last to exit the shower… my erotic obsession with hot water delays me. I exit the bathroom to find them in the bed. She is straddling him, grabbing his back for dear life. Their lips beckon me to join the two of them in the bed… Lights are turned off… and then there were three.