She Ripped the Words Straight from My Heart

Confessions: Part 1

I feel like I’m searching for Love… but all I find is Lust.

That’s my fault though. I got some issues with trust.

It’s not that I don’t trust them… I really just don’t trust myself

Seems like every time I get close I just sabotage myself

Like the Good Dude I met from the Bay

He really tried to save me but I just kept getting in the way

He gave this Woman almost everything she could ask for

Respect, Trust, Security and so much more

A couple superficial things kept clouding my view

I just want you to know that when I’m all alone I still think of you

So I closed off my heart and Blocked out my mind

Decided to find someone to occupy my time

But when I met him, I was convinced we were meant to be

Turns out all he wanted was my body, but that was cool with me

I didn’t have the energy to give him my mind

So instead I gave him the pleasure of my slow grind

Fucking the shit outta some other Woman’s Man

But wait.. Yo they were separated Ya’ll understand

And once I really Fucked up and had too much to drink

Made a dumb ass decision, didn’t bother to think

Longing so bad for a little intimacy

My fault Houston the fault is on me

Too many nights filled with shot after shot

I kept telling myself to slow down.. But damn I forgot

And it’s not like the liquor erases my memory

It helps make my issues even more clear to me

The pain… I know that’s something real

Don’t have to second guess like this other shit I feel

“I don’t need love just take me shopping”

“Pay a few bills and we can get it popping’

And what’s funny is I don’t even need their money

But I wanna take from them like they be taking from me

But I’m smart enough not to confuse love with lust

I know I’m just new pussy and he just wanna bust

Ol dude flew my across the country just to taste my shit

He keep selling pipe dreams… but I know he aint shit

At the end of the day, it’s still all my fault

This is my virtue and I need to protect my vault

But I’m feeling like my conscious is fucking with me

One day its strict the next it runs free

As I pour out my soul and confess my sins

I’m still not rid of the deception within

I’m as we speak planning one trip more

To escape reality with a Man that’s spoken for…

Day Dreaming....

I keep having these wet Daydreams. 

No matter where I am.

They just creep into my mind at the most random times.

The triggers vary... smells, taste, music and of course sight.

I literally catch myself squirming in my seat.

My legs crossed, clenched tight and holding on for dear life. 

It feels like I'm holding an orgasm prisoner and its trying to break out.

Sometimes I ride this impending orgasm like the waves of the Ocean.

I fantasize about mind blowing sex in public places.

Backseat of the car in the parking lot of a busy Night Club.

Giving head on the highway.

Getting fingered at the table of my favorite restaurant.

In an office at my job

I release my mind

Envision riding some Chocolate Stallion in a Jacuzzi tub

In my mind I come over and over again 

I am breathless

In reality I sit with a sneaky grin on my face

These thoughts are my dirty little secret

And no one as any idea...