Waking at the Westin

*Stretches and yawns* I begin to adjust my eyes to the darkness. The first thing I realize… I have clearly drunk a lot the previous night. Wait is it morning? My vision begins to clear. By the looks of this room… I am definitely at the Westin. I’d recognize this room décor in the dark. Well this is either a good sign or a really bad sign. Waking up in a strange hotel? But hey…. At least it’s the Westin right? Am I alone? A voice from behind me whispers “Are you awake Baby?” Nope, clearly not alone.  I take a deep breath and roll over. Do my eyes deceive me? Am I lying next to the MAN himself? Visions of the previous night begin to hit me like a raging flood.

            A simple business conversation turns into “let’s go to happy hour”. That Happy Hour turns into “Go Home and get dressed, I’ll have my driver wait for you and bring you to the club” A few drinks in the club, relaxing in VIP. He’s no major clubber; he’d rather drink and watch everyone else act a fool. I’m with that plan. We attempt small talk over loud obnoxious music. This is no upscale lounge, we are in Hood City. Nevertheless we are determined to enjoy ourselves. And like a flash of lightning I see a shiny stripper pole beckoning my attention from my right peripheral. The desperate and disillusioned women in this club begin to shake and gyrate in hopes of getting… phone bill money… I suppose. Before I know it, I’m given a $100 bill and instructed to turn it into 100 singles. I am much obliged. I myself am quite a big fan of Women taking off their clothes for money and I have no problem helping “Chocolate Thunder” pay her metro bill. After visiting 4 different Bar Tenders I finally have made this 1 bill into 100 bills. I stuff the money into my bosom as make my way through the thickness of the crowd back to the safety of VIP.  After consuming one more drink he grabs my hand, leads me through what feels like hell for broke people and up to the stage where the stripper pole awaits our 1’s. One hand on my waist… the other continuing to hand me one dollar bills to rub up and down “Chocolate Thunder’s” ass. Keep in mind this is NOT A STRIP CLUB. But hey what do you expect when you have a stripper pole, Hennessy, Waka Flaka Music and a bunch of Horny men drunk and willing to spend all the little money they worked so hard for 2 weeks to get? The crowd is in an uproar. They are elated to see this little Woman (me) making it rain on the biggest ass any of them have probably ever seen in real life. A few of them get out of control and begin to grope MY ass…. Now it’s time TO GO!

We spend some time cuddled in a corner and finally decide leave. He beckons the driver and informs him it’s time to go. I’m instructed to find a hotel. *Siri, find the nearest Westin* 

                           ************ INSERT MEMORY LOSS*************

Yes! It is the MAN that I have awakened to. I peek under the covers. Not naked…. But definitely NOT full dressed. He wraps his arms around me and as I look down I spy a sparkle . I'm reminded of what I already surmised in the back of my mind. We talk about business for a while then its gets personal. Something is genuine in his admissions of his inability to resist me .  After further conversation it is made clear that we did NOT enter into horizontal polka during the night. The relief I felt is indescribable. 

EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES 101*

 I have this theory that the Mistress (or Side Chick if you must) at times is an integral piece to a successful relationship. WAIT…. Don’t log off. I know you’re thinking WHAT THE HELL IS THIS WOMAN TALKIN ABOUT??? But just bare with me…. I like to think of it as extra-curricular activities. There are 3 types of “Extra-Curricular Activities”

STARBUCKS GIRL

-          Jump Off, Quickie, Most often a One Night stand. She means nothing to him and he would never jeopardize his relationship to keep her.

 

1    When a Man cheats on his Woman it’s extremely rare that the sex will be tied to his emotions. For men, often times its JUST PUSSY. The woman was attractive; she gave him the eye and made him feel a way that his current Woman doesn’t make him feel as often as she used to… WANTED. Ladies Men want to feel sought after too. They may not admit it, but they want to feel that we still think they’re sexy. Every man secretly hopes that his presence still makes his Woman’s panties wet. But, so often as Women, we get used to our Men. Mostly because they get comfortable when they get us and start farting in the bed, shitting with the bathroom door open and walking around in them holey ass draws that we keep begging them to throw away. So eventually we lose the warm sensation that we used to get by just looking at them. And men can tell when this happens. It’s extremely subtle and won’t be the last crack in the foundation, but it very well may be the first. Men already feel like Women don’t want to have sex as often as they do and eventually they get tired of feeling like they have to talk your prude ass into it. So when Starbucks Girl comes along and shows the least bit of attention, your Man is all excited and feeling like a teenager again. That feeling of being wanted drives him to see how far he can really go. It could be the girl who works at his favorite Starbucks, the Secretary in the office, shit even a girl he sees sitting at the bus stop on his way to work every day. As Women we ASSUME a Man will Cheat UP. Meaning find a Woman who’s prettier than us or more successful. But ladies let me clue you in on something. Most men couldn’t care less what the chick does for a living or if she’s a super model. They just want to know if she’s Down To Fuck. So Starbucks girl slips your man her number and it’s on. They chat, she’s willing to talk freaky to him in text messages (another thing you probably won’t do) she sends him naked pictures and before you know it, she becomes his favorite past time. Eventually he goes over her house for a nooner, maybe once… maybe a few times. But it NEVER lasts. He gets it out of his system and continues to go home to your boring ass! You should send Starbucks girl a “Thank You” note… she just kept your man at home.

-to be continued…

Confessions: Part 1

I feel like I’m searching for Love… but all I find is Lust.

That’s my fault though. I got some issues with trust.

It’s not that I don’t trust them… I really just don’t trust myself

Seems like every time I get close I just sabotage myself

Like the Good Dude I met from the Bay

He really tried to save me but I just kept getting in the way

He gave this Woman almost everything she could ask for

Respect, Trust, Security and so much more

A couple superficial things kept clouding my view

I just want you to know that when I’m all alone I still think of you

So I closed off my heart and Blocked out my mind

Decided to find someone to occupy my time

But when I met him, I was convinced we were meant to be

Turns out all he wanted was my body, but that was cool with me

I didn’t have the energy to give him my mind

So instead I gave him the pleasure of my slow grind

Fucking the shit outta some other Woman’s Man

But wait.. Yo they were separated Ya’ll understand

And once I really Fucked up and had too much to drink

Made a dumb ass decision, didn’t bother to think

Longing so bad for a little intimacy

My fault Houston the fault is on me

Too many nights filled with shot after shot

I kept telling myself to slow down.. But damn I forgot

And it’s not like the liquor erases my memory

It helps make my issues even more clear to me

The pain… I know that’s something real

Don’t have to second guess like this other shit I feel

“I don’t need love just take me shopping”

“Pay a few bills and we can get it popping’

And what’s funny is I don’t even need their money

But I wanna take from them like they be taking from me

But I’m smart enough not to confuse love with lust

I know I’m just new pussy and he just wanna bust

Ol dude flew my across the country just to taste my shit

He keep selling pipe dreams… but I know he aint shit

At the end of the day, it’s still all my fault

This is my virtue and I need to protect my vault

But I’m feeling like my conscious is fucking with me

One day its strict the next it runs free

As I pour out my soul and confess my sins

I’m still not rid of the deception within

I’m as we speak planning one trip more

To escape reality with a Man that’s spoken for…